Adventures in Egg Sitting
by L.O.A.D
Summary: He was starting to think she was less trouble as a dragon than as an egg


_**Author's note: If you are wondering what happened, here's the gist. In a previous(and as yet unwritten) fic, Lizzie decided to play hero and rescue some people from a burning building. One thing led to another and she was, in short, "Killed" by her attempt at heroics. Yet, being immortal, Lizzie cannot die and so, like the proverbial Phoenix, is reborn as an egg from the ashes of her former self. An egg which, being defenseless, The Scarecrow and The Riddler are now saddled with protecting until it hatches. Hope that helps and enjoy.**_

If anyone had had the ability to spy into the hideout of The Riddler, they would have been met with an unusual sight. Unless of course they were expecting to see Jonathan Crane and Edward Nygma standing around an abnormally large gold and red egg sitting on a chair and wrapped in an absurd amount of blankets.

"When she hatches, I'll kill her," an increasingly irritated Jonathan Crane growled. "I have better things to do with my spare time than making sure an immortal dragoness can be reborn. No one told her to play hero."

"Shut up and get me more blankets," Eddie snapped. "I think she's getting cold." Jonathan rolled his eyes and growled in the back of his throat.

"She's getting cold?" He mocked. "She's getting cold?" He stepped away from the egg and into the center of the room. "I wonder why! Could it be because it's late December?" He demanded. "Or maybe," he continued, stepping towards an opened window, "it's because this window can't close. Or, better yet…" He stepped away from the window and over to the side wall. He banged on the thermostat a few times before turning back to his fellow rogue. "It's all because there's no heat in this apartment." He stood there, glaring daggers at Eddie. Eddie just stood by the egg, glaring back.

"Don't worry, Jonathan," he shot back. "The moment I finish that devise that harnesses your rage, I'll just power my house with the extra heat."

"Oh haha," Jonathan muttered. "And here I thought The Joker was the funny one." Despite his still foul attitude, he did as Edward had asked and searched through the closet for another blanket. When he stopped looking and just stood there, Eddie started to get worried.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Out," was Jonathan's only reply.

"Out?" Eddie parroted. "Out? We can't be out. How are we out?" As a response Jonathan cast a glance over at the enormous piles of blankets, comforters, quilts and towels covering the egg that was their fellow criminal, Lizzie. Jonathan then turned his gaze to Eddie.

"I see your point…" Eddie admitted. He looked at the blanket pile and frowned. "We need to get more."

"How do you propose we do that? Even if we did just walk down to the local Bed Bath and Beyond, it's one in the morning. It's _**closed.**_" In Eddie's opinion Jonathan put more emphasis on this last word than really necessary but he didn't press the issue.

"Come now Scarecrow," Eddie mocked. "You got a brain at the end of the movie. We're _rogues. _We break into the store, steal what we need and we'll be out before Old Commissioner Jim can even pull on his pants. It's foolproof!"

"Foolproof until you leave Batman a riddle telling him what you stole, why you stole it and where we're sleeping," Jonathan mocked back. "I'm not heading back to Arkham just yet. Lizzie will need to make do with the blankets she has." With that he crossed his arms and glanced away from Eddie, hell set on not changing his mind. After a few moments, however, he happened to glance at the increasing snowfall outside and then back to Eddie and the egg.

"How warm do dragon eggs need to stay?" He asked. Eddie looked up at him then down to the egg.

"I've seen Lizzie breathe fire on her eggs," he mused. Jonathan broke eye contact with the egg and looked back at the window.

"Let's be fast."

* * *

><p>In fairness, when Jonathan said "let's be fast" he didn't think Eddie would sacrifice subtlety for speed. Yet, sure enough, the moment they reached the store the first thing The Riddler's genius mind decided to do was pick up a brick, feel it to see if it had good weight behind it and hurl it through the front window. Which, not surprisingly, set off all the alarms.<p>

"What did you do?" Jonathan gasped.

"You said we needed to be fast!" Eddie snapped back, trying to defend himself.

"And fast equals stupid?" Their argument almost certainly would have continued if not for an overzealous night watch-guard who wanted to play hero. When he saw the two rogues, he reached for is gun, took aim, and fire. As it would happen, however, this guard was a bad enough shot that he missed his intended target (The Riddler's head) yet still a lucky enough shot to graze the Scarecrow's right bicep. Jonathan cursed, grabbed his wound and did what any sensible man would do after being shot; gassed the guard. The guard, probably having just realized he shouldn't have done anything, dropped his gun, dropped to the ground, and began clawing at his face screaming something about cobras. Under other circumstances, Jonathan would have wanted to study the effects. This time, he just wanted to leave.

"Where are you going?" The Riddler asked. "We need blankets!"

"No, _Lizzie _needs blankets," Jonathan corrected. "Lizzie, the dragon, who is, in case you have forgotten, an _**IMMORTAL!**_ I need to get back to the apartment to make sure Rambo over here," he nodded towards the guard, who was no longer screaming about cobras and was instead merely whispering about them, "didn't hit a major artery. Or do you want to explain to Lizzie why I'm dead when she wakes up?" Eddie looked at him desperately.

"One blanket?" He pleaded. "The first one I see?" Jonathan groaned but finally relented.

"The very first!" He snapped.

* * *

><p>"You said the first," Eddie explained. "And it won't be that bad."<p>

"Eddie," Jonathan said, trying to keep his voice level. "It has Batman on it."

"It's the warmth that counts," Eddie shot back. "Lizzie won't mind. She loves the cape and cowl. If she was so kill happy, she'd make a good hero."

"I'm going to kill you when this is done," Jonathan swore. "I promise you that on my mother's grave that I will kill you."

"Can you really swear on the graves of people you've killed?" Eddie asked as he unlocked the lair door. As he flipped on the light, he let out a quiet gasp and dropped the blanket.

"What's wrong?" Jonathan asked, pushing his way into the room.

"Gone…." Eddie breathed. Jonathan looked at the room and saw Eddie was right. The blankets had been thrown everywhere and, sure enough, Lizzie's egg was gone.


End file.
